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Contents
When
to Start
Younger
vs. Older Teens
Let's
Talk
A
Patchwork Program
I
Don't Want to Leave Home
Stay
at Home Summer
Time
to Switch?
Counselor
in Training
Something
Different
With
or Without Friends?
Volunteering
Working
For Pay
Teen
Tours and Adventures
Ready
For a Tour?
How To
Choose
The
Nitty-Gritty
Check
It Out
Peer
Pressure
Ya
need to Know
Sex, Money,
Laundry,Packing, Communication
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Teen Summer
Camp
Travel Adventures -Summer Fun
in Adolescence
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While
choosing the right summer activity for a teen may
be more complicated than selecting a general
interest camp for a younger child, the rewards can
be even richer. A teenager is in the midst of an
incredible growth spurt. There is a literal
physical change that you may see when your teen
arrives home, but equally important are the
emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and social
changes that a challenging summer program can
produce in a child in this age group. Although
finding the right summer program for teens is
different than finding a program for a nine year
old, some of the basics are the same: you still
want a safe, secure, and appropriate environment.
However, teenagers need and are ready for new
challenges and greater independence. As your child
matures, you may find that you need to reexamine
your choice each year as his interests
expand.
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When
to Start
If you're living with a teenager, you're
living with part kid and part adult. Planning a
summer program in November may be more difficult
for an adolescent than a younger child, because
your teenager's interests and emotions are going
through such enormous changes. However, because
many good programs fill up fast, you will want to
try to focus early so that you and your child have
the widest range of choices.
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Younger
vs. Older Teens
It is important to keep in mind when
choosing a program for teens that the needs,
interests, and abilities of a 13 year-old are quite
different from that of a 17 year-old. When
considering programs, you should also keep in mind
your child's maturity as well. Parents often
express concern about the level of supervision in
many of the programs designed for
teens.
While teen programs impose
curfews, campers may have greater independence of
movement during the day. You need to determine if
your child is ready for that kind of freedom before
deciding what program to go with.
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Let's
Talk
The best way to start your search for a
summer program is to sit down and talk with your
child. Searching for a good summer program is a way
to strengthen your relationship with your teen.
This is an opportunity to discuss with your child
his interests, concerns, and values. You need to
talk with your teen about what each of you want the
summer to be.
Before you begin to talk,
make it clear that you really want to hear the true
answer, not what your teen thinks that you want to
hear. Listen carefully to what your teen is telling
you. His views and yours may not be as
irreconcilable as they initially appear. If you
model respectful behavior for his views, it's
likely that he will respond in kind. The obvious
place to begin is with the question: What do you
want to do this summer? Write down his goals and
your goals on a piece of paper so that you can mix
and match responses.
Be prepared in case your
child's first response is 'nothing'. Your child may
also say that he wants to do something exciting,
hang out at the mall, be with his friends, get a
good tan, or may simply say that he doesn't know.
Even if these are your child's goal, you may be
able to find a good program that meets his needs
and yours as well.
You should also share with
your child what you think that he should accomplish
this summer. You may feel that your child
needs:
- Exercise
- To explore interests on a
more challenging level
- To study at a college
level
- To see the world,
country, or region
- To
volunteer
- To earn
money
- SAT/ACT
preparation
- To relax after a
stressful school year
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A
Patchwork Program
One of the best ways to reconcile your
goals with your child's is to piece together the
summer with activities from both of your lists.
Although it is more difficult and figuring things
out may be more time consuming, your teen will get
a broader experience for your work.
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I
Don't Want to Leave Home
One of the major issues may be if your
teen wants to leave home at all for the summer.
Even if your child has spent many years at
sleepaway camp, they may decide that they want to
spend the summer at home to be around friends. You
need to explore the reasons that your child wants
to stay at home, and how those will affect both her
and your summer plans. The primary question is
'What will she do if she stays home?" You also need
to consider how her decision will impact your
family life. Consider the following:
- If she drives, will she
need access to a car to get to summer
activities?
- If she doesn't drive,
will she need a parent to provide
transportation?
- If your child's at home
summer job, volunteer activity, or program is
not full time, will he need additional
supervision if there are no adults at home
during the day?
- What will he do when he
is not engaged in the summer
activity?
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Stay
at Home Summer
If you decide that your teen will choose
a local program, it is important to establish
summer rules, expectation, chores, and schedules.
This will be especially important if this will be
the first summer in years that your youngster is
spending at home.
Setting Summer Rules
Parenting a teen is a judgment call.
Some families have very strict rules, while others
have a more open approach. Most of us know both
types of families, and have seen success, and
failure, with both styles. Though you do not need
to suddenly make up rules that you haven't
previously had, you'll want to think through what
you expect and lay out the ground rules so that the
summer isn't a surprise for you or your teen. You
should consider the following areas of possible
conflict and decide how you want to handle these
issues.
Curfew
Now that school is out, you need to
consider what is a reasonable time for your teen to
be at home. Although you have probably given up a
bedtime, you want to know where your teen is and
with whom. You also want to know that he's in the
house at a certain time. You will want to establish
a curfew that works for everyone in the family.
Even if he doesn't have to be up in the morning,
you do, and a curfew can be a convenient excuse for
a teen to leave an uncomfortable social
situation.
Chores
If your teen is going to be around the
house some or all of the day, count on higher food
bills and more dishes in the sink. You should make
your expectations about cleanup and chores clear.
Do you expect your teen to assume more household
responsibility during the summer than during the
school year? What about babysitting younger
siblings? Will you pay your teen or not? Work out
the parameters of any employment relationship with
your teen before the job starts.
Friends
One of the main attractions for your
teen to stay at home is the opportunity to be with
friends. Do you want to have rules about how many
friends, if any, can be in the house when no adults
are home? Some parents are comfortable with their
teens have friends over without adult supervision.
Others may want to set limits on the number of
friends or whether or not friends of the opposite
sex can be in the house when no adults are present.
Other parents may have rules about specific friends
that they would rather not have over when they are
not home.
Cleanup
Without cleanup rules, you may come home
from work every evening to a full garbage can and a
sink full of dishes. Figure out what works for your
family. If you set some basic rules, it teaches
your teen responsibility, an important life
lesson.
Transportation
Consider how much transportation you
will have to provide for your child and his or her
choice of summer activities at home. Is public
transportation available and safe? Is your teen
comfortable using the public transit system on her
own? You may also consider paying a local teen to
provide car service, carpools, or walking or
biking. Don't let transportation limit your teen's
choice of summer program. Find the program and then
find a solution.
Academic Expectations
Although school may be closed, that
doesn't mean that your child shouldn't crack a book
over the summer. Make sure that even if your
child's school doesn't require summer reading or
journaling, your child spends some time on
academically enriching activities.
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Time
to Switch? Maybe Not
Many traditional summer camps offer
programs for children to the age of 15 or 16, so
for early teens, continuing to return to the same
camp may not only be right, but also reassuring to
the child. If your teen wants to return to camp,
think before insisting on something new.
Adolescence is difficult, and the comfort of being
with old friends might be just what your child
needs. Camp may be a safe refuge for a few more
years. For the younger teen, the camp program
should involve greater challenges and new
activities for your child. You want your child to
use the familiar setting and friends to give him
the confidence to take new chances and assume more
responsibility.
Counselor
in Training/Waiter
Many summer camps offer older teens,
from 15-17, the opportunity to serve as junior
counselors or counselors in training (CITs). Other
camps may allow teens to work as waiters or kitchen
help. Generally, parents will continue to pay
tuition at a reduced rate. The campers may receive
a small stipend or gift at the end of the summer.
If your teen has had a great time at camp, this is
one way to continue the adventure. But you and your
teen should discuss with the camp director the
duties and schedule of CITs or kitchen help. You
want to make sure that the camp is not going to
give your child too much responsibility too fast or
overburden your child with duties that are
inappropriate for his age. However, you should make
clear to your teen that he will be expected to act
responsibly and to take his job seriously. You will
also want to ask about the supervision and free
time that your child will be given. Before
enrolling your child ask:
- What will be the teen's
responsibilities?
- Who will supervise him
when he is working and during free
time?
- Who will be his
coworkers?
- What happens if he
doesn't like his assignment?
- Do the teens participate
in the regular camp activities?
There are both advantages and
disadvantages to participating in these types of
programs. Advantages include:
- The camper returns to a
familiar environment with
friends.
- The camper has
opportunity to learn responsibility and gain
work experience.
- Work experience can
bolster a teens résumé in the
future.
- Some camps increase the
first year salary of counselors who have
participated in the CIT program.
- The teen learns about
working with children, techniques for solving
problems, and sensitivity
triaing.
- The teen is enrolled in a
safe, secure, environment for the
summer.
Disadvantages
include:
- Parents must still pay
camp fees, even though the teen is
working.
- CITs/Waiters may be
undersupervised.
- The teen may not take the
job seriously since his parents are paying for
the experience.
- The teen returns to a
safe, familiar environment instead of trying
something new.
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Something
Different
If your child is eager to try something new, you
feel that the supervision or offerings at camp are
inadequate, if your child is now too old for his
former camp, or you think that it's time for your
teen to earn some money, then there are lots of
choices. Over the teen years, you may try several
experiences. Your teen may choose to switch several
times not because an experience was bad, but
because at their age, the adventure of trying
something new is half of the fun. The range of
possibilities is limited only by your imagination
and your budget. Options include a wide variety of
teen tours here and abroad, volunteer
opportunities, academic programs, and summer jobs
at home.
Before you open the first
brochure, you should focus on what you want your
teen to get from the summer. Even if cost is not a
consideration, the most expensive program is not
necessarily the best for your child. When choosing
a summer teen program you should:
- Have realistic
expectations of what the program can
accomplish.
- Make sure that your child
doesn't expect the summer to transform her.
While it may, you shouldn't enter the program
with that thought.
- Make sure that both you
and your teen are willing to participate in the
program. When you enroll an unwilling adolescent
you are asking for problems. It is normal for
teens to worry about new situations, but if they
are doing the program to please you, the
potential for disaster rises
greatly.
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With
or Without Friends?
When you are making a choice of programs for your
child, one question that may pos up is whether she
should go alone or with a friend. Though your teen
may be more willing to try a new adventure if
accompanied by a friend, some children welcome the
opportunity to go alone and escape the typecasting
that teens assign each other. You and your teen
must talk frankly and openly about this issue. Some
programs may ask that teens who sign up together
bunk in different tents so that they will reach out
and find new friends. You should check with the
program director about how they encourage new
friendships and minimize the effect of
cliques.
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Volunteering
For the Younger Teen
One way to fill a young adolescent's
summer is to establish a volunteering schedule so
that he is busy at least part of every day. Most
volunteer opportunities for younger teens are found
within the community, so the teen can become more
independent and not rely on a parent as much for
transportation. Children as young as thirteen can
provide volunteer service by:
- Reading to younger
students
- Mowing, raking, or
clearing sidewalks for neighborhood senior
citizens
- Beautification/environmental
cleanup
- Running errands for the
housebound
- Baking or preparing
simple meals for those in need
- Helping at a soup kitchen
or food pantry
- Tutoring
For the Older Teen
The more mature teen can go farther in
search of a volunteer experience. In addition to
the jobs above, several organizations look for
teens for volunteer work. You may want to research
organizations such as Habitat for Humanity, The
Student Conservation Association, Volunteers for
Peace, or Landmark Volunteers.
Every community has needs for
volunteers. Even if there isn't an established
volunteer program, you teen can offer his services
to local hospitals, ambulance corps, firehouses,
homeless shelters and soup kitchens, or literacy
programs at the library.
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Working
For Pay
Paying jobs can be a great learning
experience and give your student a little financial
independence. While teens are ready and eager for
work experience, jobs may be hard to find. Younger
teens, under the age of sixteen, will probably need
working papers in order to hold a job. Generally
you can get these from the school guidance office.
Your teen will need your permission, and proof of
age. Federal labor laws limit the number of hours
14 and 15 year olds can work, and other state laws
may apply. Teens who want to get a paying summer
job must think ahead. Encourage your teen to think
about summer jobs before school lets
out.
Where To Find a Job
Finding a job for a teen is tough.
Traditional jobs include day camp counselors,
mother's helper, office temps, and lawn work. Some
good places to look include newspaper ads, the
youth employment office, office temp businesses,
community bulletin boards, and family friends.
Encourage your teen to start looking at least by
May. If your teen is willing to work part time
during the school year, he may be a more attractive
applicant.
How much is too much?
If your student starts working before
school ends or chooses to keep working when school
starts again, keep a careful eye on how much she
works. Research shows that students who work more
than 20 hours a week were more likely to have lower
grades, feel more detached from their family, and
have a higher rate of alcohol and drug use. You
should remind your student that school is her full
time job, and make sure that she doesn't cut
corners academically to work, take fewer
challenging courses, or sacrifice other
extracurricular activities.
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Teen
Tours and Adventures
The summer opportunities for teen trips
and adventures are nearly endless. As with any
other summer opportunity, there are both advantages
and disadvantages. Advantages
include:
- An opportunity to visit
and explore new places and meet new
people.
- Tours may offer teens
unique physical and intellectual
challenges.
- Teens learn
responsibility for themselves and belongings.
Some trips may also require teens to cook some
meals.
- Trips can expose teens to
experiences they wouldn't have
otherwise.
- Finishing a program can
build self-esteem and
self-confidence.
- Teens learn group
dynamics and cooperation.
- Teens try out greater
freedom and independence while
supervised.
- Teens may develop
life-long friendships.
Disadvantages
include:
- ours are expensive, so
the diversity of participants may be
limited.
- There may be too little
supervision.
- Some tours are more a
social exercise than a
challenge.
Is
Your Teen Ready For a Tour?
Before you get down to choosing a
program, you need to be sure that your child is
ready for this type of program. You need to be
realistic about your teens personality and
readiness. There are five questions that you should
ask yourself:
- Does your teen want to go
on this type of trip? If your teen is unsure,
you may want to look for another activity. These
trips are expensive and demanding. Though your
teen may be apprehensive, you want to hear that
she is looking forward to the challenge and is
interested. You must find a trip that matches
your child's personality and
interest.
- Is your teen flexible?
These programs are fairly physically demanding.
If your child finds travel and change difficult
or takes a long time to adjust to new situations
and people, then a tour may be difficult and
less enjoyable. While a shy type can enjoy a
teen tour, you will want to discuss your child's
personality with the tour
directors.
- Can your child meet the
physical demands of the trip? Here you just need
to be realistic. If the trip includes a lot of
hiking, biking, mountain climbing or camping,
your teen must be willing, eager, and in good
enough shape to participate. If your child gets
motion sickness easily, consider trips which
involve long bus rides
carefully.
- Is your teen mature and
responsible enough to handle the independence of
a teen tour? How mature is your teen's decision
making? Can he withstand peer pressure? Some
programs give teens more freedom than they have
at home. You need to know how your child will
react to this kind of freedom.
- Is your teen organized?
Your teen will be responsible for packing and
unpacking their belongings at several
locations.
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How
To Choose
With the large number of programs out
there, it can be daunting to choose. You should
narrow the search by first deciding how much you
want to spend, how long your child can be away, and
how far your teen can travel.
Teen tours can run between
2,000 and 10,000 dollars when you include tuition,
airfare, spending money and souvenirs. Some shorter
programs are less expensive, but financial aid is
rarely available for these programs.
You may want or need a trip
of a certain length to make room for other summer
activities for your teen. Your child may want to
attend sports clinics, spend time volunteering, or
you may be planning a family
vacation.
Time and money limit how far
your teen can travel. It is important to understand
your teen's preferences as well as your own. If
your child is hesitant about the destination, you
should look for another program. With the large
range of options available, there is likely on that
travels to the right places for the right length of
time.
You will want to begin your
search through word of mouth, web searches,
guidance counselors, ads, camp fairs, and resource
books. Narrow your search by the type of tour you
and your child want: indoors or out, city or
country. Don't try to turn your child into
something he is not. While you can expose your
child to new opportunities and adventures, keep
your expectations realistic.
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The
Nitty-Gritty
For each program you research, you'll
want the answer to several questions. Make sure to
ask the following questions in each
category.
Group Size and
Organization
- How many teens are on the
tour?
- How many
adults?
- If the tour is broken
into smaller groups, how many teens are in each
group, with what kind of
supervision?
- Do the groups stay
together the whole trip or are they reorganized
to encourage friendships?
- What is the age range of
the participants?
- If coed, do girls get the
same opportunities as boys? Are the
responsibilities on camping trips assigned
without gender bias? How do the leaders handle
trip romances?
Method of
Transportation
- How does the trip travel
from one site to another?
- How far does the trip
travel in any one day?
- If by bus, what kind of
coach? Are there bathrooms on
board?
- If by bike, raft, or
foot, what happens if there is bad weather? What
if a teen doesn't feel well?
- If by train or plane,
does the group sit together? What kind of planes
are used?
Living
Accommodations
- What kind of
accommodations: hotels, tents, dorms, youth
hostels?
- What kind of supervision
is there once the group is in housing? Are there
leaders on every floor?
- If a coed tour, are girls
and boys assigned to different floors? What kind
of supervision is there?
Curfews
- How are the rules
enforced?
- Are there room checks?
When and by whom?
Spending
Money
- How much should be
sent?
- Is the teen responsible
for sending the money?
- What is best: cash,
traveler's checks, or credit
cards?
- What if the teen runs
out? Are there emergency loans or advances from
the tour?
- Do any kind of controls
exist on how money is spent?
- What do most participants
buy during the trip?
Tour
Leaders
- How long has the company
been in business?
- What are the credentials
of the chaperons of each trip? How old are the
chaperones?
- How often has the company
been running the specific tour that your are
interested in?
Supervision
- How closely are the teens
supervised?
- Are teens allowed to tour
areas with out a chaperone, meeting at the end
of the day? What areas, if any, are they allowed
to tour without a chaperone?
Medical
Emergencies
- How does the tour handle
an emergency if not in a metropolitan
area?
- How will the parents be
notified if an emergency arises?
- Will the leaders insist
on a plastic surgeon if stitches are
required?
- Can a teen rejoin the
tour if hurt?
Mail/Communication
Home
- How and when can you
communicate with your child?
- Are there any
restrictions on calls or mail? Some tours don't
permit parents to write because coordinating
mail drops can be difficult.
- If there are mail
restrictions, how does the trip handle
birthdays?
- How should your child
call home: calling card, prepaid phone card, or
collect?
- For wilderness or outdoor
trips, what kind of communication setup is there
for emergencies?
Meals
- How many meals are part
of the plan?
- How often does the tour
hit fast food restaurants?
- At restaurants, can the
teens choose off the menu, or is the meal
planned?
- How much choice in meals
do participants have?
- What about teens with
special diets or vegetarians?
- For programs where teens
help cook, how elaborate is the
menu?
Equipment
- Who provides any
necessary equipment?
- Is a specific brand
recommended?
- If you need to provide a
bike, who puts the bike together? Is a specific
model required?
- How are equipment repairs
handled once the trip is
started?
Laundry
- Who is
responsible?
- How often is it
done?
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Check
It Out
You must make sure to invest the time in
a thorough evaluation of each program that you
consider. You can't rely only on the promotional
materials, you must make sure to call the parents
of previous participants and ask questions before
you enroll your child. Good trips will provide you
with references of participants from the previous
year. You want references to be as recent as
possible. You should try to call a number of
families, up to ten, to get a broad range of
opinions. If you hear an issue raised a number of
times, you should raise the point with the tour
leaders. The decision is not necessarily a question
of right or wrong, but what you are comfortable
with for your teen.
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Peer
Pressure
Adolescent peer pressure can be intense,
especially in new groups. You should talk about the
issues of drugs, alcohol, sex, and breaking curfew.
Explain to your teen that pranks that may seem
innocent or harmless can be dangerous or illegal.
Ask your child to use her best judgment and to step
back when she is tempted to do something that is
wrong, dangerous, or illegal. On these trips, some
teens are tempted to pierce ears or other body
parts, bleach or dye their hair, or get tattoos.
Talk about the need to think decisions through
thoroughly with your teen, and make your
expectations known.
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What
Your Teen Needs to Know
Before your teen leaves on his first
trip or tour, you should review several issues.
Many of these are topics that you have discussed
before, but it is important to revisit them. Your
teen will be away from home, in a new situation
with new people, and possibly more freedom than
ever before.
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Sex
You've probably already have had
conversations with your child about sex, but it's
smart to talk about it again before your child
embarks on their adventure. Generally, teen tour
groups develop close friendships rather than
romances, but some teens still develop
relationships while traveling. Talk about personal
values, responsibility, and caution.
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Money
A valuable lesson learned from a teen
trip is how to budget money. Your child's spending
money needs to last the length of the trip. Before
your child leaves, have him develop a list of
anticipated expenses. Build in a reserve fund for
the unexpected. Discuss how your teen will carry
the money. Review tipping customs and practice on
restaurant bills, and remind your child to
double-check bills in stores and restaurants. Tell
your teen keep money discreet. If you are giving
your child a credit card, discuss with your child
what are appropriate uses.
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Communication
Make an agreement with your teen about
how often he will call or write home. Check with
tour leaders for advice on specific days and times,
so that you know when you can expect a call. Even
if your teen is not much of a correspondent, you
should continue to write if the trip permits mail
to give your teen a link to home. If you give your
child a prepaid phone card, agree on how it should
be used. Can your child call friends as well as
family?
Laundry
Review laundry basics with your child
before she leaves. Make your expectations for
laundry and basic hygiene as clear as you
can.
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Packing
For a teen trip, it is especially
important to teach your child how to pack and
unpack efficiently, as she will be responsible for
her own belongings. Spreading clothes over the
hotel floor increases the likelihood of something
getting lost. Have her pack her own luggage for the
trip. Make a list of what she is taking. Keep one
copy at home and put one in the luggage. Follow the
suggestions of the trip leaders on the type and
amount of clothing. Items that need ironing or
special care are not practical. Advise your child
on the special care and protection that her
belongings may need depending on the location of
the trip.
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Coming
Home
Reentry to the household for a teen can
be tricky. Your teen has been living a much more
independent life and may be reluctant to follow
family rules. Use gentle humor to confront your
teen when he stretches or breaks the rules.
Remember that one of the reasons that you sent your
teen was to build his self confidence and
independence. If the trip has accomplished these
goals, itÄôs likely that your teen
will want to exercise some of that independence at
home. If your teen has earned your trust and shows
good judgement, you may want to relax some of the
rules.
Your childadolescence
can be both a trying and rewarding period. Choosing
the right summer program can give both of you a
respite from the difficulties of growing up.
Support and guide your teenÄôs
summer choice so that it provides him with
opportunities for growth emotionally, socially,
physically, and intellectually.
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